Tolstoy, Christianity, Anarchism and Motherhood

August 20, 2016

Children need interesting mothers.

Can’t remember who said that.

But, if anything, I am a very interesting mother.

Also, Tolstoy, who was a writer and a farmer (well, mostly a landlord) and a Christian and an anarchist, said this, in A Confession, my favorite book of his, probably because it is so short … I cannot find the exact quote because I am tired. But, he said something like, “Crazy people think everyone is crazy but him or herself.”

Basically, Tolstoy was awesome and right, even if he rarely farmed and was a bit of a hard ass. His heart was in the right place. He probably spent about two hours a week on a hot farm, in Russia in August, in between writing and his wife.

August is a crazy month. Everything is producing, and then you see plants start to wither. On an island that thrives from tourism, everyone in the working class is tired and grumpy.

It’s hot. It’s dry. But, the nights are balmy and clear and quiet. You think about what could happen, and you think about getting people to stop tailgating you when you are driving the speed limit to town. Not such bad problems.

I do think, somehow, this will work out. And, when my divorce comes, I won’t lose it. I will be strong. I will make time for writing. So many smart and artistic people have done it, here, before me. It will work out. For myself and my child.

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